Dark Pick Up Lines: Darkest Humor Ever

Gone are the days of normal pickup lines. In fact, now you can go on as much as saying that they are now overrated. Today’s age demands some border line dangerous pick up lines to get someone’s attention.

But yes, its no denying that such dark pick up lines are not for the faint hearted people. So don’t use on people with a light heart. In fact we would say that you don’t use our dark humor pick up lines if you are not willing to face one on your own.

However, If you are ready to dare yourself, you might see the best results you’ve ever got. Using a dark pickup line not only attracts someone, you will be surprised with the reaction they give. Lets not waste time with this chatter and get straight to the pick up lines.

Best Dark Pick Up Lines

dark humor pick up lines between a girl and a boy
  • We all die someday. Wanna go out with me?
  • Tell me you are a banana because I find you peeling.
  • Smell this rag! I’m sure you can inhale the chloroform.
  • You have the most beautiful tatas I have ever seen. Can I be reincarnated as your child? I would like to suck on them till I am old and greying.
  • You look very familiar. Have I met you recently? It must be the clothes that are confusing me. I can’t identify you with them.
  • Can I borrow that shirt off you right now? I want to go pay the bartender but I don’t wanna go alone. 
  • I’ve been noticing you noticing me. If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to change the multiple noticing into notices of o****** for you!
  • How do I get the STUD? I only have STD and U are all I need!
  • Your outfit is so dazzling. Do you know how it can look better? Rumpled in a bunch on mysteries that haven’t been solved.
  • Wow! I could never have guessed you look way better in person than what I have been seeing through my telescope.
  • What genre of music do you like? Why not heavy metal? I can make you learn how to scream.
  • How are you not tired? You’ve been engaged in a naked marathon in my mind all day. 
  • I’m stalking you because you might as well be a cornfield
  • If I could choose a place around you to live, I will choose your socks. I want to be with you only every damn step of the journey. 

Funny Dark Pick Up Lines: Dark Humor pick up lines

  • I would like to have a clone of you to myself. Can you offer me your groin hair? I hear that works better.
  • Stop being melancholic. I know your crush is dead. I did it so that you can be with me. 
  • There must be something wrong with my eyesight. I need your help, I just can’t take them off you.
  • I will hate having to spike your drink. Simply agree with me now.
  • You can call me baby. All I want to be is inside you forever.
  • I love your T-shirt. Can I study it in Braille? And no, you don’t have to take it off. 
  • You want to call the cops. Go ahead, see who comes first.
  • Can I ask you to drop dead? I’m a necrophiliac and I might just think about it. 
  • You have such a banging body, the last time I had such a body to myself, I was stuffing it in my basement. 
  • I am trying to establish a p*** network. Will you do me the honor of being my first client?
  • How do you like your milk delivery? Across the front or back? I wouldn’t mind taking it through the back
  • I hate a ride but I would have to come between you and your dress. It is not needed at the moment


Morbid Pick up Lines: The Most Edgy pick up lines

  • Did you choke on a light bulb? Your chest is all flashy
  • I want to touch you but you have to promise not to call the cops. 
  • Come for a ride! I am a friend of your dad
  • I’m throwing you a house party. On my bed
  • I’m having trouble thinking straight. All the blood from my brain has been drained to give me a boner.
  • Do you know what I have got? A knife and a p****. One of them is going inside you tonight.
  • What’s the difference between a jet and a boner? I don’t have a jet
  • If you ever want to have the first kid, you will get in bed with me. 
  • I’m new to this area. Can you lead me on the way to your apartment?
  • I wish I could be your bathwater. So I can slither all around your books and crevices.
  • How do I like my women? The way I like my coffee. Black and sealed in a bag that is airtight. Also, stored in the deep freezer.
  • Are you a light switch? I keep getting turned on every time you are around.
  • I can see our future. We are destined to be married. 
  • Hey, I have candy out in the back. It is in my van. Would you care for some?
  • Hi, I came to talk to you following the instructions of the voices in my head. 
  • Excuse me, I would like to help you exorcise a monster that grows next to you. All you have to do is suck my c***. 
  • Hey, I notice an abundance of meal down your crotch. Will you like me to eat you out?
  • You look pretty good. I must have had quite a lot to drink.

Our Personal Favorite Dark Pick up Lines

Preface it with, “Do you want to hear to darkest pick up line ever?”

  1. Damn girl, are you a school house? Because I’d shoot kids in you.
  2. Do you work at the subway? Because you’re giving me a foot long.
  3. Is your daddy a baker? Because you got some nice buns.
  4. Do you work at McDonalds’? Because I’m lovin it.
  5. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see
  6. Are you a shark? Cos I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow

Before you Go.

check out some of our master class pick up lines that you will fall in love with.


There you have it guys. These were some of the pretty dark pick up lines you can use on anyone who you like. Do leave your own ones, in the comments below.

Let us give you a straight warning before hand: You are completely responsible for the reaction you get from the recipients of these lines, so proceed with caution.

Rest assured, they are fun and amazing. Also, make sure to bookmark this page, as we keep on adding new ones regularly.

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