Best Mean Pick up Lines [Friendly Insults to Try]

When it comes to picking up women, some men take the easy way out and use cheesy pick up lines. However, there are much better ways to do it. This hilarious collection below contains a variety of mean and insulting pick-up lines.

Best Mean Pick up Lines

Everyone needs a pick up line to get the girl. And what better than using some of the Best Mean Pick Up Lines? If you’re too shy to ask her out, this list will help you improve your game, do try these mean lines.

  1. Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] It’s okay, the other two pigs said no too!
  2. You smell… We should go take a shower together.
  3. Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
  4. Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
  5. You owe me a drink, you’re so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
  6. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
  7. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  8. If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I’d consider sleeping with you.
  9. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer cash?
  10. A face without freckles is like a night sky without stars.
  11. You look fabulous! [pause] for your age.
  12. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause obviously you landed on your face
  13. You look like trash, may I take you out?
  14. Your eyes are as blue as the sea I dumped my ex’s body in.
  15. Woman to Man: Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
  16. Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody’s cumming.
  17. Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
  18. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.
  19. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  20. Your eyes are really cute. Oh, wait! I think the right one is a little cuter than the left one.

Funny Mean Pick Up Lines

Funny Mean Pick Up Lines
Funny Mean Pick Up Lines

Want to make the girl you’re talking to blush and laugh? Here are some of the mean lines that will get her attention and make her smile.

  1. No, I’m not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
  2. I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good
  3. You’re ugly but you intrigue me.
  4. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
  5. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  6. I love the way you move…like butter on a bald monkey.
  7. Do you work for UPS? ‘Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
  8. You owe me a drink! You’re so ugly I dropped mine the moment I saw you.
  9. How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
  10. Are you free tonight, or are you going to cost me?
  11. They all say I’m a pussy. But then again, we are what we eat.

Outrageously Mean Yet Funny Chat-Up Lines

This article lists some of the most outrageous yet funny chat-up lines that you can use on your next date.

  1. Are you a mosquito? Because you’re so annoying!
  2. Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
  3. Are you pi? Because you’re being irrational and this conversation is going in circles.
  4. You’re the thot that counts!
  5. This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.
  6. Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!
  7. My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
  8. Are you a tax collector? Because I’m gonna avoid you at all costs!
  9. Are you the future? Because you’re looking hopeless and bleak.
  10. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
  11. Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
  12. I dreamt about you. You died.
  13. As long as I have a face, you’ll always have a place to sit.
  14. Are you a snack? Because everyone eats you for fun.
  15. Did you know that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? I bet I can make yours last longer than that.
  16. Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
  17. Honestly, I’m into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
  18. Are you a fire alarm? Because you are really loud and annoying!
  19. Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
  20. You remind me of my brother/sister.
  21. My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They’re probably long dead.
  22. Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.
  23. Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
  24. Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
  25. Are you a human? Just making sure.
  26. Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
  27. I would ask you if you’re tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.
  28. For a fatty, you don’t seem to sweat much.
  29. You look a lot like my next victim.
  30. Hey, you dropped something. My standards.
  31. Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
  32. I’d drink your bathwater.
  33. My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren’t conventionally attractive.
  34. Are you a motorcycle? Because I’d like to ride you all day, and then sell you for a newer model.
  35. Hey, how much?

Rude and Insulting Catchphrases for Flirting

Rude and Insulting Catchphrases for Flirting
Rude and Insulting Catchphrases for Flirting

People use rude and insulting catchphrases to flirt with their potential partners. If you know some of these phrases and use them when flirting, you will definitely catch their attention.

  1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? It must have, considering that you clearly landed on your face.
  2. I think I saw you on TV. Oh yeah, it was on animal planet.
  3. You look like a hobo. You can live in my heart if you want.
  4. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
  5. Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
  6. I hope your knees aren’t dirty because I just cleaned my floor.
  7. I want to tickle your belly button. From the inside, of course.
  8. Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.
  9. Are you a shrimp? Because I don’t need your head. All I want is your body.
  10. Do you like sausages? Because you’re the wurst!
  11. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because your pants are big enough to fit one.
  12. You’re so fine that I wouldn’t care if you were dead or alive!
  13. Are you garbage? Because I want to take you out.
  14. Are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
  15. Let’s play the Pinocchio game. You sit on my face, and I’ll tell you a lie.
  16. There will only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.
  17. Come with me if you want to live!
  18. Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 149.6 million kilometers away from me.
  19. Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
  20. My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
  21. You’re kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I’m into those things.
  22. Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.
  23. Are you as good as everyone says you are. I’m just curious.
  24. If you were a booger, I’d definitely pick you.
  25. I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
  26. You may not be Jesus, but I’d still nail the heck out of you.
  27. The more I drink, the more beautiful you become. Cheers!
  28. Are you a mirror? Because I die a little inside whenever I look at you.
  29. You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
  30. Did you fall from Heaven? Because your face is messed up.
  31. Are you a tumor? Because you grow on me fast. I want to take you out now or die trying.
  32. Damn! You’re almost as hot as my sister/brother.
  33. Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!
  34. How do you like your eggs in the morning: scrambled, fried, or fertilized?
  35. Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
  36. You may not be good-looking, but I still like you.
  37. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
  38. How are you not cold? You’ve been naked in my mind this whole time.
  39. Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
  40. Are you constipated? Because you are so full of sh*t!
  41. You’re as rude as a trespasser! You didn’t even ask permission when entered my heart and thoughts.

Hilariously Offensive Conversation Starters

We all have those moments when our wit fails us, and we can’t think of a single thing to say. Don’t panic! This guide has all the most awkward conversation starters for you, from topics that are too aggressive to subjects that are too chessy. Here is a list of the craziest mean lines that you can use.

  1. I like you like my coffee. Bitter!
  2. Your eyes are as blue as the ocean I dumped my ex’s body in.
  3. You’re like the neighbors’ WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
  4. Didn’t I just see you on the “Most Wanted” list?
  5. I put the “std” in “stud.” The only thing I need now is “u.”
  6. I like my partners like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra large!
  7. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally ugly?
  8. I wish I was menstruation, so I could visit you once every month.
  9. Are you water? Because you don’t taste like anything.
  10. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m using my hand, and thinking of you.
  11. You’re like a low-life bandit. I’ll give you everything so please don’t hurt me.
  12. How are you still so fat when you’ve been running in my mind for so long?
  13. Do you like seafood? Because I’ve got plenty of crabs.
  14. I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
  15. I bet your muffled screams are as cute as you.
  16. Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.
  17. Are you the square root of -1? Because you’re imaginary.
  18. I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I’d pee on you.
  19. Are you cancer? Because you’re starting to grow on me.
  20. Sit on my face, and I’ll eat my way to your heart.
  21. Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.
  22. You must be really sweet, seeing how all of your teeth are rotten.
  23. I can’t help but gravitate towards you. It must be your incredible mass that’s creating the gravitational pull.
  24. Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
  25. I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
  26. Are you a durian? Because you’re a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
  27. To be honest, you reek! Do you want to shower together?
  28. Are you feeling down? Because I can feel you up.
  29. I’m willing to lower my standards if you go on a date with me.
  30. If I was a fly, I’d be all over you. Why? Because you’re sh*t!
  31. If you were a comatose patient, I’d pull the plug.
  32. Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
  33. Hold still, there’s a mosquito on your ass.

What’s more…

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Conclusion

Pick up lines meaning

Have you ever been on a date and you’re just so lost for words? Do you want to know what the best pick up lines are, but don’t know where to start? Do you have a crush on someone and are unsure of how to approach them? Mean pickup lines can be really difficult! But don’t worry, we are here to help. Hope you found this article helpful:)

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