Karina Kugel wanted to kill herself after losing her baby to her estranged husband. Little Lagertha and her father Roman were killed instantly
A mother whose baby died in a traumatic murder-suicide by her own father says she “died that day too”.
A year after the death of eight-month-old daughter Lagertha, Karina Kugel said that nothing was important anymore.
The 30-year-old mother was away on business when her husband Roman, 34, threw the baby off a balcony on the 10th floor and jumped after her.
According to police, Roman was drunk at the time of the incident.
Both the man and the child had no chance of surviving the 80-foot fall and died instantly, investigators said.
Lagertha’s stroller and an empty bottle of vodka with Roman’s fingerprints on it were found on the balcony, police said.
Ms. Kugel, who is from Minsk, Belarus, had lived with her husband for 12 years.
She said, “I died that day too. Last year, on June 30th, my life ended. Nothing matters anymore.
“Only now do I understand that our relationship was a moral abuse.
“ He could humiliate and insult me all day for no reason.
“The next day he was full of love and tenderness.”
A month before the incident, Ms. Kugel ended her relationship with Roman.
After the breakup, they agreed that they would take turns to hang out with the little girl.
“That day I prepared a meal and left. Roman had to look after our daughter, ”the mother recalled.
“After a while, I received offensive messages from him. Then he indicated that he would do something to hurt me. Within the next 20 minutes, he did what he did. ”
“I couldn’t imagine that he would have been able to hurt our daughter. He loved her so much, ”added Ms. Kugel.
“I will never forgive myself for leaving my daughter with him.
“The guilt eats me up and it will never end.”
“After my daughter’s funeral, I looked for a way to commit suicide.
“But my relatives and friends have never left me alone.”
Ms. Kugel’s relatives persuaded her to take part in a charity project called ” Vyzhyt ” – translated as survival – which helps people who have lost loved ones.
” I am absorbed in the project. An army of women supports me and believes in me and I cannot abandon them, ”said the mother.
” I try to live even though I don’t want to. ”
If you are affected by this story, there are many people who would be happy to speak to you:
If you need to talk and don’t know who to turn to, the Samaritans have a free hotline that is open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can send an email to [email protected] or Visit the website to find your local branch.
If you or someone you know has a mental problem, the SANEline helpline is open daily between 4.30pm and 10.30pm on 0300 304 7000.
Mind mental health charity has resources to help you deal with and plan a crisis. Visit their website for details on hotlines, how you can use crisis services and what to do if you cannot get help yourself.
* In an emergency, dial 999 for urgent assistance