A mother is furious after being hugged by her manager at work.
The social worker said she told her manager that she did not want to be hugged, but she did it anyway.
She added that she felt “frozen, disgusted and deeply humiliated” by the invasion of her office.
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She turned to ask for other opinions Parents forum Mamasnet when she added that she wanted to file a formal complaint against her manager.
The post read: “It has been difficult at work lately. I work in a busy social work team. I love my job and enjoy the challenges. But office politics has developed into such a complex nature. It SEEMS plausible and nice, but I’ve started to find its behavior difficult.
“I tend to be pretty straightforward and outspoken, and I think she knows I don’t quite trust / dislike her. There’s a lot of talk about her and various jobs and promotions. I recently went for a CPTSD- Diagnosis returned from sick leave.
“This afternoon she stormed into a group of colleagues and tried to get me into light banter. I made it clear that I wasn’t really in the mood by saying that I don’t really have anything to say. Then she started screaming: “Gepilli needs!” A hug! I’ll hug you! ”I said,” I really don’t want a hug! “
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“She then hugged me forcibly and hugged me with her arms. I was as stiff as a board, since I had already said that I didn’t want a hug from her. She held me tight and tight as long as she could! Everyone else around us laughed around. I thought I was going to die from her entering space, even though I said I didn’t want a hug. I felt frozen, sick and deeply humiliated. I had to break free of her shivering and crying. I want a formal one File a complaint against them. I would be so grateful for any insight or advice. Thank you. “
Users were quick to respond, and many agreed that their manager had crossed a line.
One wrote: “This is a clear border crossing, and something chronically upsets me when social workers don’t seem to know something better. Please take it to the HR department. You were polite and responded nicely, she didn’t ask for physical contact. “
A second added, “She shouldn’t have hugged you and sounds a little crazy. But you don’t sound easy to work with.”
A third said, “Formal complaint. Your manager needs to understand boundaries. Personal space = my bubble – your bubble. She needs to understand that you don’t bully or humiliate people, especially not in front of an audience. Also – hasn’t she heard? From Covid -19? “
“It would be totally inappropriate for a manager to forcefully hug an employee at any time, but doing it during a pandemic is just amazing,” added another.
However, others wondered if this was a symptom of their complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
“OP, to me your reaction seems to be a symptom of CPTSD,” wrote another. “Your action was not welcomed by you, but if you were feeling strong and rational you would see that it is possible that she was trying to be kind, warm, and spectacularly misunderstanding what you needed and wanted. Crying and shaking because you have an unwanted hug seems to be a very large physical response with underlying triggers. You sound like you need more time and more support. “