If you’re looking for some witty and inspiring bartending quotes about bartending, you’ve come to the right place! Here are some of the best quotes about bartending that will help you become a better bartender. From tips on how to make cocktails to motivational words of wisdom, this list has something for everyone. So start reading and learn some useful tips that will help you improve your skills as a bartender!
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Bartender Quotes
Bartender Quotes can be a great way to inject some personality into your cocktails. Whether you’re trying to add a bit of humor to your drinks or just want to show your bartender some love, these quotes will have you laughing and pouring drinks with ease. So feel free to mix up your drink repertoire with some of these fun and quirky bartender quotes.
- “Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.”
- “I was a bartender for four years, and that was the best training that I had for learning how to approach people.”
- “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day…”
- “By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.”
- “A bartender can’t be made overnight, though, and a headful of recipes and facts will get you only so far.”
- “The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.”
- “That’s the magic of being a bartender— the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.”
- “Bartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.”
- “The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer. . .”
- “Bartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.”
- “A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.”
- “The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.”
- “That’s the magic of being a bartender-the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.”
- “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.”
- “There’s a myth out there that chilling citrus will reduce the yield of juice, so some bartenders leave it on the counter, but you can trust me when I tell you that this is a load of bull.”
- “You know you’re in trouble when the bartender cries.”
- “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
- “A bartender can’t be made overnight, though, and a headful of recipes and facts will get you only so far.”
- “A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic.”
- “Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.”
- “A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it.”
Bartender Sayings
Bartender sayings are a great way to add some levity to your bartending repertoire. They’re also a great way to keep your customers happy and entertained. In this section, we have collected some of the best bartender sayings, so you can start using them today!
- “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
- “My parents were working class folks. My dad was a bartender for most of his life, my mom was a maid and a cashier and a stock clerk at WalMart.”
- “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
- “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
- “Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun.”
- “Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer.”
- “Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
- “There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream.”
- “My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.”
- “Both of my parents were born into poor families on the island of Cuba. They came to America because it was the only place where people like them could have a chance.”
- “A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.”
- “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.”
- “A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.”
- “Usability is not everything. If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms.”
- “There are few professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power.”
- “As an improviser you need to experience the moment- and that includes everything in the moment. Observe the people around you-the bandleader, the bartender-what they wear, how they deal with people, the simple continuity of their presence.”
- “Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college.”
- “To extract the fullest flavor of our drinking house, we needed to spend serious evening time there, slowly coming to know the bartender and the regulars, their joys and sorrows.”
- “I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14.00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it’s probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.”
- “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
- “The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.”
- “He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet.”
- “I’ve always thought that bartenders and hairstylists would be great interrogators because all day long they have to listen to people talk. They could probably make some fugitive spill the beans.”
- “Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty.”
- “Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever he looks. His agent doesn’t love him (enough).”
- “By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.”
- “I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.”
- “The American dream is about achieving happiness. When you become a fire fighter, a police officer or a teacher or a nurse, you know you’re not going to become a billionaire.”
- “Placing a wedge of lime in the neck of a Corona bottle helps sell those beers. And where did that ritual come from? One story has it that two bartenders in California were curious how fast a ritual could spread. Astonishingly fast, they discovered.”
- “Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.”
- “I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I’m more likely to offer them than to have them.”
- “They made it to the middle class, my dad working as a bartender and my mother as a cashier and a maid. I didn’t inherit any money from them. But I inherited something far better – the real opportunity to accomplish my dreams.”
- “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
- “Pain is subtle. He has cold grey fingers. His voice is horse from crying & screaming… When people try to avoid him, he follows them silently & turns upas the bartender, or the bus driver…”
- “Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist – whatever.”
- “Socially, a journalist ranks somewhere between the madam of a whorehouse and a bartender. but spiritually he ranks with Galileo, for he knows the world is round.”
Bartender Quotes for Instagram
Bartender Quotes for Instagram can add a touch of humor and brightness to your photos. There’s no better way to show your friends and followers that you’re having a good time than by quoting some of your favorite bartenders! Here are some of the best quotes that will put a smile on your face, no matter what mood you’re in. So put on your happy face and start mixing drinks like a pro!
- “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
- “Friday is the beginning of my liver’s workweek.”
- “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.”
- “By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.”
- “It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
- “You put the fun in functioning alcoholic.”
- “People tend to talk openly to bartenders.”
- “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
- “A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.”
- “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
- “I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.”
- “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”
- “I was a bartender for four years, and that was the best training that I had for learning how to approach people.”
- “The professional bartender has the convenience of a daily fresh produce delivery to the restaurant or bar room door.”
- “Alcohol maybe man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
- “After work, we hit the gin.”
- “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
- “Because alcohol tastes better than tears.”
- “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
- “I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concreted. Was the drink recipe for seduction one-shot charm and two shots self-deception, shaken, not stirred?”
Favorite Bartender Quotes
- “It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.”
- “I’m not really a social drinker. I would say it’s mostly work-related.”
- “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
- “You say alcoholism, I say liver Crossfit.”
- “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
- “Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: Now bring on that damn cat!”
- “Motherhood: Powered by love, fuelled by coffee, sustained by wine.”
- “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
- “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated.”
- “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.”
Funny Quotes about Bartenders
- “It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.”
- “I’m not really a social drinker. I would say it’s mostly work-related.”
- “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
- “You say alcoholism, I say liver Crossfit.”
- “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
- “Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: Now bring on that damn cat!”
- “Motherhood: Powered by love, fuelled by coffee, sustained by wine.”
- “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
- “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated.”
- “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.”
Bartender Captions
- A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.
- I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
- You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name — and you’ve never been to that bar before…
- For the bartender, the weight of the finished beverage isn’t important but the volume is.
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Whiskey is, by far, the most popular of all remedies that will not cure a cold…”
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender…
- I’m in a good place right now. I’m on the beach.
- Happy hour views.
- Peace, love, and happy hour.
- Girls just wanna have cocktails.
- Happy as a clam.
- Happiest of hours.
- Tequila is cheaper than therapy.
- Great love affairs start with a cocktail.
- 24 hours a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
- Be happy for this moment.
- Yes way rosé.
- It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.
- I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this.
- Live every hour like it’s happy hour.
- Finish your day sparkling.
- Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
- Wanna know what rhymes with Friday? Wine.
- Hakuna ma’ vodka.
- Why limit happiness to an hour?
- High tide or low tide, I’ll be by your side.
Funny Bartender Captions
- An American goes into an Irish pub. He said to the bartender, ‘Whiskey and ice.’ The bartender said, ‘There’s no ice.’ The American said, ‘I’ll have water.’ He said, ‘You can’t. The water’s frozen.’
- You know you’re in trouble, when the bartender cries…
- The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.
- You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name — and you’ve never been to that bar before.
- Bartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.
- A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic.
- That’s the magic of being a bartender— the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.
- The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid
- A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender…
- Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that – it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar…
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- The difference between a rich drunk and a poor one is that a rich one tells his problems to a psychiatrist and a poor one tells his to a bartender.
- A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.
- No one ever made history in the living room. And without a bartender, who at home are you going to tell your troubles to? Your dog?
- A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it.
- A bartender can’t be made overnight, though, and a headful of recipes and facts will get you only so far.
- Also see Best Tinder Pickup Lines
- There’s a myth out there that chilling citrus will reduce the yield of juice, so some bartenders leave it on the counter, but you can trust me when I tell you that this is a load of bull.
- Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.
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Conclusion
We hope you liked these bartender quotes. To add to that, if you like what you read, share it with your friends and colleagues – they might just appreciate a few witty lines as well! And also comment below!
