74+ Funny Quotes About Programming

Do you ever find yourself struggling to get into the mood to code? Are you feeling a bit like a dry sponge that’s constantly being filled with new information? If so, then you’re not alone. Funny programming quotes can be a great way to combat the dryness that programmers experience. Once you’ve read through these quotes, you’ll be able to approach your coding project with a bit more levity and enjoy the process. So don’t wait any longer – read through these funny programming quotes and get started today!

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Funny Quotes About Programming

Programming is serious business. But sometimes, even the most stoic coders find themselves cracking a few jokes to help them through the tough times. In this section, we’ve put together a list of Funny Programming Quotes that will make you chuckle and maybe even learn a thing or two!

“My code DOESN’T work, I have no idea why. My code WORKS, I have no idea why.”
“Old programmers never die. They simply give up their resources.”
“If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0”
“A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.”
“It’s not a bug. It’s an undocumented feature!”
“Software is like candy: It’s better when it’s free.”– (Linus Torvalds)
“I’m very font of you because you are just my type.”
“Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”– Bill Gates (co-founder of Microsoft)
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.” – Martin Golding
“Talk is cheap. Show me the code.”– Linus Torvalds
“Software Developer” – An organism that turns caffeine into software
“Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time.” – N.J. Rubenking
“If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in”– Edsger Dijkstra
“Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.” – (Eagleson’s Law)
“There are only two industries that refer to their customers as “users”. – (Edward Tufte)
“I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!” – Vidiu Platon
“If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, You are brave enough to ask that girl out.”
“One man’s crappy software is another man’s full time job.”– Jessica Gaston
“Programming is like a gun. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”– Michael Sinz
“Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work”.

Funny Developer Quotes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out these funny developer quotes! Whether they’re poking fun at themselves or taking a jab at their colleagues, these jokes will have you laughing out loud. From quirky to clever, these quotes will have you thinking about the developers in your life in a new way. So sit back, relax, and enjoy some laughs – after all, laughter is the best medicine!

“I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS.”
“If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.”
“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.”
“They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.”
“The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.”
“That’s what’s cool about working with computers. They don’t argue, they remember everything, and they don’t drink all your beer.”
“Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”
“It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.”
“Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by ‘they’, I mean ‘computers’. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”
“To iterate is human, to recurse divine.”

Software Engineer Funny Quotes

“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.”
“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”
“Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.‘ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.‘ “
“Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”
“Every operating system out there is about equal… We all suck.”
“Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.”
“I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.”
“The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!”
“Microsoft senior vice president Brian Valentine describing the state of the art in OS security, 2003”
“End of the word according to Unix–2^32 seconds after January 1, 1970”

Computer Science Quotes Funny

“No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.”
“The bulk of all patents are crap. Spending time reading them is stupid. It’s up to the patent owner to do so, and to enforce them.”
“Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.”
“The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry.”
“It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.”
“The function of good software is to make the complex appear to be simple.”
“Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.”
“It is not about bits, bytes and protocols, but profits, losses and margins.”
“The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.”
“The Internet? Is that thing still around?”
“We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.”
“True innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough to launch a market but lacks the heft to own it.”
“There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.”
“Complexity kills. It sucks the life out of developers, it makes products difficult to plan, build and test, it introduces security challenges, and it causes end-user and administrator frustration.”
“Any fool can use a computer. Many do.”

Funny Coding Quotes

“Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave robbing and beneath managing.”
“That’s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers.”
“Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.”
“The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.”
“The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability.”
“First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.”
“Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”
“Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more ‘user-friendly’… Their best approach so far has been to take all the old brochures and stamp the words ‘user-friendly’ on the cover.”
“Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.”
“Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.”
“For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.”
“Just remember: you’re not a ‘dummy,’ no matter what those computer books claim. The real dummies are the people who–though technically expert–couldn’t design hardware and software that’s usable by normal consumers if their lives depended upon it.”
“Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”
“Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.”
“Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave robbing and beneath managing.”
“First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.”
“First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.”
“Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.”(Edward Tufte)
“Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.”
“The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.”

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Conclusion

This is it! We hope that you enjoyed reading the funny quotes about programming like we did. Remember, hard work and perseverance can take you far in life, especially when you have such amazing role models as these quotes suggest. Also do share and comments below!